Siggy's First Executive Order

During a post-ride conversation late last night at Heidi's Deli, the conversation between my teammates and I somehow evolved from the census, to government, to monarchy, to my blog. My ego, then, loved the idea when my teammate Andrew David suggested that if I ruled the world, my blog posts would each be executive orders.

I hereby accept your proposal, Mr. David, so here is my first Order.

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Siggy's Executive Order #060310: Proper Usage of Aerobars

Subject: E.O. 060210 hereby pronounces the appropriate usage and prohibitions for riding a bicycle with aerobars.

1.0 Definition

1.1 For the purpose of this policy regulation, "aerobars" consist of any extension of bicycle handlebars that serves the purpose of reducing aerodynamic drag, including permanent and clip-on aerobars.

1.2 Aerobars shall never be referred to as "tri-bars" because they are not limited to usage in triathlons.

1.3 For the purposes of this Order, riding in the low hand position commonly called "invisible aerobars" on a road bike in an effort to reduce aerodynamic drag shall be included in the definition of "aerobars."

1.4 For the purposes of this Order, "cyclist" is categorized as any athlete on that is riding a bicycle. This term shall be inclusive to all types of cyclists riding any type of bicycle, including multi-sport athletes that choose to be mediocre at multiple sports than good at a single sport.

2.0 Proper Usage and Prohibitions

2.1 Aerobars shall only be used and ridden (or attached to a bicycle) when specifically being used for time trial (TT) practice, TT intervals, or TT races.

2.2 Every effort shall be made by a cyclist to ride a normal road bike with drop handlebars on recreational, training, or group rides. All riders shall remove non-permanent aerobars from the bicycle for all rides on the road, except when 2.1 (above) is applicable. (Unless the primary bicycle of a cyclist has been damaged, every cyclist shall use their road bike. No cyclist or multi-sport athlete shall use their TT bike as their primary bicycle, nor shall they leave aerobars installed on a road bike for longer than is necessary for training.)

2.3 Aerobars shall never be used while riding in a group. (See exceptions 4.1 and 4.3.)

2.4 Because wind resistance increases exponentially with speed, the aerodynamic benefit is arguable and negligible at slow speeds. Riding in aerobars at slow speeds can decrease handling, especially in windy conditions. Thus, to prevent squirreliness among slow-moving athletes, aerobars shall never be used at speeds under 17 miles per hour. No exceptions.

2.5 In concert with 2.4 (above), aerobars shall not be used while accelerating from a stop.

2.6 Cyclists shall not assume a tuck position in aerobars on corners with a turning angle of more than 90 degrees.

2.7 It is explicitly prohibited to put a permanent aerobar cockpit or clip-on aerobars on a hybrid bike or mountain bike. Concurrently, aerobars are prohibited unless their primary purpose is to reduce aerodynamic drag. Aerobars used solely to provide an additional position are in conflict with this Order.

2.8 Aerobars shall never be used on trails, bike paths, or multi-use paths. No exceptions.

2.9 Aerobars shall not be used when following a vehicle or another cyclist within 10 meters. (See exception #4.1.). Motorpacing a scooter in aerobars is discouraged, but allowed only if the scooter is a Vespa by brand.

3.0 Apparel

3.1 When riding in aerobars, a cyclist shall wear no clothing that causes any extraneous negation of the reduction in aerodynamic drag provided by the aerobars. (Though normal cyclist jerseys are permitted, they shall NOT flap in the wind, in particular at the hem.)

3.2 When riding in aerobars, the area of skin between on the dorsal side of a cyclist between the top of the shorts and the bottom of the jersey shall never be visible. Bib shorts and skinsuits are encouraged. Tri-tops and cycling- or tri-shorts that do not explicitly cover the entire torso, middrift, and back-hair area are explicitly prohibited.

3.3 When riding with aerobars or on a bike equipped with aerobars, arm warmers may only be worn if they leave no exposed skin between the top of the warmer and the bottom of the sleeve cuff. It is explicitly prohibited to wear arm warmers with a sleeveless jersey.

3.4 In concert with 3.1 (above), only cycling gloves designed specifically to reduce aerodynamic drag may be worn while utilizing aerobars.

4.0 Exceptions

4.1 Aerobars may be used during the training for and competition in a team time trial.

4.2 Aerobars may be used during workouts or rides that have the specific purpose of gaining familiarity on a TT bike or for intervals on such a bike that will enhance performance in races such as time trials.

4.3 The invisible aerobar position may be used by a rider leading a group of cyclists.

5.0 Consequences. If any cyclist is witnessed by another riding aerobars in a manner that is not in accordance with (IAW) this Order, the following penalties may apply.

5.1 If the rider holds a USA Cycling license, he/she shall be automatically downgraded one category.

5.2 A witnessing rider can permanently and immediately assume ownership of or commandeer the time trial bike of an offending cyclist, as long as the witness uses it IAW this Order. (Note: If the frame is not the correct size, the rider witnessing the infraction can choose to take select components, such as deep-section carbon wheels, in lieu of the entire bike.)

5.3 After a warning for a first infraction, a rider attempting to use aerobars in a group may be forcibly ostracized from the group pon second infraction. If the rider's bicycle has not yet been pilfered, he/she shall be permanently banished from the group for a third infraction.

5.4 Cyclists found to be in conflict with #2.7 (using aerobars for an additional riding position instead of aerodynamic advantage) shall immediately trade in their bicycles for a recumbent bicycle.

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Unrelated to anything else: If ever there were reason to have official replay for field calls in baseball, this might be it. Does a national past time have to be so old fashioned?